update time!

Hi ladies so I thought I would update as I haven't in a while so whats happened...I have moved out and am enjoying my single life! went away for the weekend and ate and drunk way way too much! Haven't yet weighed  myself incase have put on....which am guessing i have but will weigh myself tomorrow and see what the scales say :s anyhow hope you are all staying strong!?
Much love
Justthebeginning
Xx

133.6 oh yes!!!

so i weighed myself this evening and im 133.6...with clothes on :D im so happy! slowly getting closer to my goal ladies :D
stay strong and motivated
we can all do this
much much love
Justthebeginning
xxx

Constant :)

ok so the reason im happy about that and not completely disheartened is due to the fact the i have actually been a massive pig recently. ive been out every weekend both on friday and saturday and usually come home drunk and order a takeaway or cook something that is so unhealthy. so when i weighed myself this morning i thought 'oh shit here we go!.... im guna be like 145 or worse'....so i closed my eyes and hoped it wasnt that bad and when i opened my eyes i was still on 136 :D.....all the calories in the alcohol and takeaways and i still managed to keep to the same weight. i was very very happy!
so yep im out this weekend again but im going to try and control myself more maybe a long walk saturday and sunday and walk my dogs will be a good idea. so yep thats my news recently on the weight front.
in other news.... found out my ex of 5 yrs has a new gf and when i asked he seemed cagey about when they got together but i dont really care she can keep him!
and on the homeless front....may be moving the end of this month into my mas which i am happy about coz we get on well and will help my money situation :) so we will see if i can coz of my landlord and the estate agent etc but il keep you updated :)
hope you are ok anyway ladies
much love and stay strong
Justthebeginning

update :)

hey ladies just a quick update :) weighed myself this morning and still 136 so the scales didn't  give me false hope and lie! :)
That's All! ... told u it was a quick one!
Stay strong
Much love
Justthebeginning

136!!!!!! frikin 136!!!!!!!!

so this morning i weighed myself and i was actually speechless!!! i weighed 136lbs i cant remember the last time i was 136!!
just thought id let you know :)
god im so happy!!!
stay strong ladies
much love
justthebeginning
xxx

Drama!!!

Hello Girls :)
I'm so so sorry i haven't posted in nearly a month a lot has happened!
If my life could go wrong it did. my partner left and so i am now on my own, he left me with the debt so i am broke! :( my laptop broke and i have been told the landlord of my place needs to sell to get the money from it so when he finds a buyer i am homeless unless i can work a miracle and find somewhere with no money! so my life in one word .... SHIT!! lol
So my weight hasn't really been at the top of my worries or priorities but i know my weight when up a few pounds then dropped them then gained them etc! that's what i get for eating bad food or drinking.....my god the calories in alcohol is BAD!
So i weighed myself a second ago with clothes on and i was 140.8-141...it kept changing but that is better than i thought, i was thinking i would be about 145 so i cant really complain about that :)
So i just want to say sorry I've been away for so long and i haven't really kept you all updated.
The only way is up from here....on my life not my weight!! please not up on my weight!!
Please stay strong
Much love
justthebeginning
xxx

Frikin 139.2!!!!!!!!

Wooooo! I am 139.2! Yes 139.2! Not 140! :) and I'm so happy about it :)
Well the reason behind it...me and my partner have split up and usually when I am stressed I don't have any appetite. That part I'm not complaining about :) when I am happy I eat but when I am sad or stressed I am just not hungry. So well that's what has happened And because of that I haven't taken my tablets but I thought I would take them from now on...with ne not eating much and lack of sleep the caffine and weightless should be good!
Even though I feel so shit about my life I am at 139.3 and I suppose one good thing should come of it. Well I hope it does. Wow I'm so tiredas haven't slept or eaten much so night night ladies and try and stay strong....I am!
Much love
Justthebeginning

Chewing gum...

So where to start...I have been taking one tablet a day however I think I am going to go back to taking the two...when my stomach has settled!
Bad idea to eat so much chewing gum.....il let you guess what happened! So today I have not taken any and will carry on with two tomorrow.
Because I haven't taken any today at about 8.00pm I got hit with the biggest slap of tiredness!
Anyhow I'm getting on ok and wavering between 142-143 that's why I am going to take two again to see if I can get to the 130's
Hope you are all ok
Stay strong
Much love
Xxx

142!

Weigh in today is 142lbs and only took one tablet today at around 12...still having no increase in heart rate, dizzyness etc and my headache plus bloatedness has gone :)
I'm so happy!!! :D:D:D:D:D
Stay strong girlies
Much Love
Justthebeginning xx

142.8

So sorry for the posts all today I wrote them and saved them all so i could put them all online when i got a chance!

Weigh in today is 142.8 :) have had a headache all day though so I'm not sure whether it is down to the weather or not and I'm also bloated today and feel like i need fo burp! I have drunk alot more, way more than I usually do though so not too sure but im 142.8 and losing weight so a bit of bloatedness and  the headache I don't really care about lol 

Note to self!...

Ok note to self... Don't take two a day! I took the 2nd one at about 3pm as it suggested not taking any 7 hours before bed which would mean i could go to bed after 10pm or whenever so went to bed and couldn't sleep i just laid there for what seemed like hours so today I am only going to take one and see how I get on!!

144.4

So today I am 144.4lbs and it's the first day of me taking the phenphedrine and it's so far going ok.
Woke up and went to work as usual and took my first tablet at about 10am and didn't feel no side effects... No increase in heart rate etc and didn't feel hungry :) I then took my second one at about 3pm and felt that one! I felt sick in my stomach and all bloated... I don't know if it was just the amount of water I was having though so I'm not too sure if its tablets or liquid intake! in 30+ degree heat and no ventilation i definitely need alot of water! but i will see how I go tomorrow but I'm thinking instead of taking 2 I will just take the one? Day was ok though so lets bring on tomorrow!

Much Love and stay strong

Justthebeginning

Phenphedrine...

so this morning i weighed 145.2lbs...still awful however when i got in from work i had a nice package waiting for me....my phenphedrine came :)... i want to start now but im not going to, im going to start tomorrow because that would be a new day and can start a fresh :)
i hope they get me down to AT LEAST 130 something. i need to be 130 something! i need to be 100 but that seems so far away at the moment.
i will keep you all updated as to my weight loss, side effect etc...if any
I hope you are all doing well
Stay Strong
Much Love
Justthebeginning

Hope...

145.4lbs
So I had last week off work and ate way too much. We ate takeaway and went out for dinner and now I weigh 145.4 because of it but I'm hoping that this week I can lose some serious poundage :) i brought some phenphedrine and am hoping that this will work!
I will keep you updated and will stick to the dosage and do it by the book so I know what I have lost .... I'm so excited about this after a week of eating EVERYTHING IN SIGHT I am going to lose alot of weight... I really do hope so anyway! :)
Stay strong ladies
Much love
Justthebeginning

...

So this week i had booked off work because it was my birthday on Monday...ive tried really hard to be so good but on Saturday we had a massive birthday celebration for me which although i didnt eat hardly anything accept a bread roll, some salad, and a tiny beef burger, i drank ALOT!! the calories i must have consumed in just the liquid i swallowed i dread to think :(
Anyhow the rest of the week i have been really good and eaten nothing unless i have had to and even then i have been feeling sick so haven't eaten much at all. i got alot of cake as well for my bday but i have only eaten one, my partner has eaten the rest :)
He has gone away for the night though so i have treated myself to some wine, chocolate and a veg on the sofa with a film :) im blocking out all the calories and i'm not going to weigh myself until Sunday morning or Monday morning...i am determined not to have put on though anything 143 or under i will be very happy with :)
Stay strong
Much Love
Justthebeginning

Slight Progress!

So Girlies i am making progress :) slowly but surely and in the right direction :)
Today i weigh 143.8lbs that's a 1.8lb loss....yes not amazing news i know but still I'm closer to my goal.
I get paid next Friday so am going to buy some diet pills to give my body a real boost in losing this weight :) even if i lose enough to be in the 130's i'l be happy because i have been stuck in the 40's for way too long  :(
Il keep you updated on my weight loss and if the diets pills work
Take Care and Stay Strong
Justthebeginning
xxx

Some Thinspo Pictures :)

Hey girlies, here is some thinspo pictures to try and keep you all motivated and staying strong :)

^^^ I Will have my collar bones showing through like that! I think it seems so attractive :) ^^^

^^^ I WILL look that good in a bikini ^^^

^^^I WILL gett that gap in my thighs ^^^

^^^This girl is my main thinspo - she weighed the same as i did when i started in her before picture and her after picture is about 10-15lbs more than my ultimate goal. If she can do it then so can i :) ^^^

So Long!

I haven't updated my blog on such a long time because lets be honest i feel like a failure. i did the ABCdiet for about two weeks but crumbled after that and from then on i have failed at even the slightest goal. i got down to 141lbs but now i am 145.6 lbs and feel horrible. if i would have stayed on track i would have lost so much by now :( for some reason i cannot seem to program myself to be strict. i want to get down to 140lbs and im going to do it by next week and im going to make sure of it no matter what! ive been a fat pig for long enough and now its time to pull myself back into shape :)
Lets hope i can :)
stay strong ladies
Justthebeginning


P.s. A QUOTE I AM LIVING BY......'TODAY'S SACRIFICE IS MY FUTURES SUCCESS'

ABC Day 2

ABC Day 2

Allowance - 500

Start Weight - 146

Todays weight - 143.8

So today I am back at work so feel like their is some sort of structure to my day and some sort of boundaries. I'm pretty sure that I am going to struggle with today because I have got to be strict on myself. On a good note even though I ate like a pig yesterday I lost some poundage :D I think I am going to get as close as I can to the calorie intake. I don't want to hate myself too much when I go over as long as it's not too over like 100 calories max ....... Apart from yesterday!

2 cappuccinos - 148

Creme egg - 150

3 pringles prawn cocktail - 33

Mini cheese and tomato pizza - 80

Tiny portion of chips about 5/6 - 49

Total 460

Over NONE :D woooooo

ABC Day 1

Abc day 1

Allowance - 500

Start weight - 146 :'(

So today is my first day on my second attempt at the diet...I lasted about 10 days on the last attempt I just prey I do well this time! I want to lose a decent amount. I want to look hot for summer with a flat stomach and tiny thighs and to be able to see some bone!!!!

I did shit today for the record.

Sausage sandwich on tiger bread - 333?

A whole frikin Easter egg :''''''( - 530

A pasta bake with cheese and ham - 400??

Total intake today - 1263

Over by 763!!!!!!!!

Fucking idiot
Im back to work tomorrow so got to make sure I'm definitely under no matter what.......god I suck :(

ABC attempt 2....starts tomorrow!

So hello again people! :)
i am starting the ABC Diet starts again tomorrow. i tried to do this over a month ago and i did about 10ish days but i ended up failing. i did lose a few pounds but i could of lost so much more! so here is goes attempt number 2! cannot wait to lose loads of weight! i am going to update this hopefully day to day!
i feel positive :D
much love
xx

Back home....

So today i have got home from being away for a few days and am dreading stepping back onto the scales i have a fear the numbers will keep rising and rising and i wont be able to stop them :'( I'm yet to weigh myself as ive eaten today so i'l weigh myself tomorrow morning when i am empty and hopefully not sit in the bathroom for two hours crying at what a fat mess i am......oh i hope i havent gained too much oh god im dreading it.
il let you know how i get on
take care and stay strong
xxx

im so shit!

I'm crap at keeping up to date on blogging. by the time i go to update i am too tired to type or the otherhalf is sitting next to me...bad idea as he has no idea.
anyway today i am 143.8lbs...the same as last friday. i was going to try to stick to a strict diet this week but that failed miserably but at least i didnt put weight on i suppose. i still need to be 135 asap...if im 135 soon then i wont feel SO FAT!!!! i will stil be fat but i would also be lighter if that makes sense!?
im going away in a weeks time so i want to try and be as slim as possible because i want to take a few photos of places and if i am in them i want to look a bit better than i do now.
stay strong ladies
much love
xx

what a load of shit!

What a load of shit!
Our landlady has just said that she is giving us 1 months notice to move out and find somewhere else to live!?!?
how are we meant to find somewhere else in a month AND I'm changing jobs so have got to try and find time to change job and change home!! and find the funds!!! I'm so stressed i feel sick :( this place finally felt like home walls painted, new rug, new bathroom bits, carpets cleaned....everything :'(
she's such a bitch!
sorry for the rant
i suppose on a good note i wont eat much next week especially when i need to try and find another place that will take my two little dogs.
the lbs will drop off i will make sure of it I'm going to fast and if i get hungry then it will be liquids only no solids whatsoever! i have to try and make something positive come out of this. i have been on a plateau for way too long now and this should definitely trigger off my road to a bigger loss and i prettier and thinner me.
again I'm so sorry to rant
i hope all of you stay strong as i will try to too
much love ladies mwah xxxx

:( why???

Why oh why am i such an idiot! i cant believe how much i ate yesterday :( i don't even want to recall what i shoved into my body :( :(
i knew this week would be a struggle due to birthdays and days out but i thought i would be able to control myself. i failed miserably :( cakes, sweets, a massive buffet
i feel so disgusted in myself...next week i am going to restrict like never before. i will punish myself for being so greedy and stupid. i will hit my next target of 145 by Friday even if i struggle i don't care. I will look beautiful and pretty and pure. i will be thin...I WILL BE THIN! i will each 100lbs :)
Stay Strong :)
xx

Welcome :)

Hi :)
So i thought it would be good to start writing a blog about my daily struggles and triumphs living with ana.
This week i am quite proud of myself..... I've been so strict and its paid of (well for this week anyway)  I'm now 152.8lbs. I'm only 7.8lbs away from my next goal which means closer to my ultimate goal :D. I'm determined to reach it by the end of January however I am hoping that I reach it by the end of next week but I don't want to disappoint myself so I've made it probably slightly more realistic....let's just keep our fingers crossed it will happen!
So anyway hi this is me....the fat me but soon to be thin me :)
take care
x